I fought and worked so hard to create a future I thought would be perfect.
While dating a great guy, I had it all figured out. I knew where he would be working the next year, and I would stay in school. When I would graduate, we could get married. Then I would be the perfect housewife and stay home raising our kids.
I put my hope in a future I invented.
All that came crashing down when my boyfriend broke up with me. To make matters worse, the only reason he gave me for the breakup was that, after praying and seeking God, he believed it was what God wanted.
Then I was undone.
Everything I had worked for crumbled. I didn't know who I was. Suddenly my college major became vitally important, and I realized I could end up single after graduation. I know it sounds crazy, but I had found so much comfort in the idea of my potential future husband providing for me, that I stopped caring about my own career path. Yikes.
A week or so after the breakup, I wrote this song. I had already written a cheesy, dramatic, depressed breakup song, and that helped for a while, but its comfort soon wore off.
One morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I really wanted to write a song expressing my heart. But I had nothing. I really wanted to express myself, but I didn't know who I was.
There's a need for a song when my heart's undone
It's easy for us to get caught up in situations like this, planning out our lives on our own. But we have to keep coming back to the cross. We have to constantly return to the foot of the cross and surrender. Why? Because surrendering our lives to Christ invites Him into our hearts and gives Him access to guide us.
Friends, if we live un-surrendered lives, we will fall apart when waves come crashing over us.
When I'm falling apart, You're the only One
As I reach out for love, there is no one else
There's a need for a song, 'cause my heart's undone
Here's the good news. When we surrender our lives--broken and confusing as they may be--God is with us. If your heart was a phone, surrendering your life would give you more bars to connect with God. Cheesy metaphor? Sorry.
The point is, God wants to lead you. He wants to help you. He is a GOOD Father!
"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"
Matthew 7:11, HCSB
You are with me
You're always with me
You are with me
You're fighting for me
God is with you and for you if you surrender your life to Him.
When I don't understand what's going on
And I'm so overwhelmed by why I'm undone
I may fear that I'm lost--that You're not with me
Y'all. This verse is the STORY OF MY LIFE! I'll have a problem in my life, then I'll start praying, thinking, worrying, and repeating over and over until I'm freaking out. Then--because I haven't surrendered--I let fear creep in, and I get anxious and feel lost.
But my God, oh my God, how You've rescued me!
During a season of Israel's disobedience and rebellion, God sent the prophet Isaiah to deliver messages to His people. Check out what he says in chapter 30:
"For the LORD God, the Holy One of Israel, has said:
'You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence. But you are not willing'" (Isaiah 30:15, HCSB).
My natural desire would be to fight and run if I was seeking freedom (aka comfort, deliverance...) from something. Isn't it intriguing that God told them they would be delivered by returning and resting? That their strength would lie in quiet confidence?
Listen. It is SO EASY to plan things out how we want them to go, or to tell God how we think our lives should turn out. But, in reality, those things are way beyond our control! God is saying that we have to rest in Him--we need to TRUST Him to do His job. If not, we'll stay in a state of constant unrest, trapped in our circumstances.
A few verses later, Isaiah says:
"Therefore the LORD is waiting to show you mercy, and is rising up to show you compassion, for the LORD is a just God. All who wait patiently for Him are happy" (Isaiah 30:18, HCSB).
Need I say more? Rest in God. He is waiting to show you mercy! That means you have to pause and surrender control to Him! He stands with arms wide open, ready to love on you! Doesn't that sound wonderful? He is rising up to show you compassion!!
Let us learn to let Him in.
Click below to listen to the song: